oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
God I need to hump something, right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
