"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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