just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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