Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
