her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize