He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize