yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
