I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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