Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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