I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize