There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
