i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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