Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
