I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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