I can text with my tongue
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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