she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
