Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Less talking, more tequila
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
