OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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