Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
