why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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