I will die if light touches me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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