this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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