you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
