it was like eating out sand paper
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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