ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize