I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
