Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i've created a new STD.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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