Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
