your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
