Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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