i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
