Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize