oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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