Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize