thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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