Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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