Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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