I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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