OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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