i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
