"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
