Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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