idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
