i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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