i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Boobs are out for the taking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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