You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
