You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
