You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
