I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
