Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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