True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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