how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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