I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
