aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
