woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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