I bet he comes in French.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
