can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
