All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
