in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
