In the future we'll all be gay
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize