I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
