I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
