Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
