Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
honey bunches of taint.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
